A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done. - Fred Allen I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. - Woody Allen The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once. - Woody Allen Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?' - anonymous I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. - Isaac Asimov The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny ..." - Isaac Asimov The most important things to do in this world are to get something to eat, somthing to drink and somebody to love you. - Brendan Behan People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election. - Otto von Bismarck A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking. - Arthur Bloch The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. - Niels Bohr I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. - Ashleigh Brilliant To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski, in "Encounter", 1971 An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less. - Nicholas Murray Butler Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. - Samuel Butler, "Notebooks", 1912 The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. - James B. Cabell You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. - Chinese proverb Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C. Clarke, "Profiles of the Future", 1962 You're either part of the solution or part of the problem. - Eldridge Cleaver, 1968 We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller To err is human but to really foul things up requires a computer. - Paul Ehrlich, in "The Farmers Almanac, 1978" Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein, "Cosmic Religion" Everything should be as simple as possible -- but not simpler. - Albert Einstein Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. - Albert Einstein I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out in a war fought with the atomic bomb. Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed. - Albert Einstein I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. - Albert Einstein If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. - Albert Einstein Imagination is more important than knowledge. - Albert Einstein Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them. - Albert Einstein Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. - Albert Einstein The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one. - Albert Einstein What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1958 A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erd”s If people really liked to work, we'd still be plowing the land with sticks and transporting goods on our backs. - William Feather I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields One of the greatest labour-saving inventions of today is tomorrow. - Vincent T. Foss A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made. - Jean Giraudoux A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. - Baltasar Gracian If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. - Motto of the Green Berets God will forgive me. It's his job. - Heinrich Heine There is nothing permanent except change. - Heraclitus Strength lies not in defense but in attack. - Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", 1933 The day of individual happiness has passed. - Adolf Hitler The great masses of the people ... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one. - Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf", 1933 The victor will never be asked if he told the truth. - Adolf Hitler What luck for the rulers that men do not think. - Adolf Hitler Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them. - Robert G. Ingersoll We believe that to err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics. - Hubert H. Humphrey Laws were made to be broken. - Christopher North All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others. - George Orwell, "Animal Farm" 1945 Big Brother Is Watching You - George Orwell, "1984", 1948 Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past. - George Orwell, "1984", 1948 At 50 everyone has the face he deserves. - George Orwell, "Journals", 1949 The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands. - Alexander Penney Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it. - Irene Peter Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Pablo Picasso Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. - Will Rogers There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. - Will Rogers Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. - Andy Rooney Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement. - Snoopy If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian. - Mark Twain It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail. - Gore Vidal 300,000 kps: It's not just a good idea -- It's the law. A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs. A man with one watch knows what time it is--with two watches he is never sure. A Smith and Wesson beats four aces. A sweater is a garment worn by a child when his mother feels chilly. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. - Timothy Leary Power doesn't corrupt people, people corrupt power. - William Gaddis After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn. Always draw your curves, then plot the data. An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. - John Buchan Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Beware of the man who knows the answer before he understands the question. Don't wrestle a pig in a mud hole. You both get all dirty, and the pig enjoys it. Et tu Brute? - Caesar For adult education nothing beats children. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. War is peace. God made the integers; all else is the work of Man. Home is the place where your computer lives and runs your life. - Chrome Cowboy, sobiloff@Thor.acc.stolaf.edu Home is where, when you go there, they have to let you in. I doubt, therefore I might be. I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. I remember back when a "mouse" had four legs, "PostScript" was what came at the end of a letter, and "Unix" was a term for someone who'd had his works cut out for him. - Brad Kozak If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of bleeding, he sings Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up, push down! Byte, byte, byte! Smile! It makes people wonder what you've been up to. The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice. The difficult we do today; the impossible takes a little longer. When I want your oppinion, I'll give it to you. – Unknown You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.